You Know You're a Gorillaz Fan When
by mukashimukashi
Summary: 100 shameless scenarios. Don't deny.


You know you're a Gorillaz fan when...

1. You spraypainted "STYLO" on your car.

2. You close the curtains every time you visit 2D's room on the Plastic Beach website because you feel bad for him.

3. You know where Point Nemo is and its coordinates.

4. You've learned the entire Dare dance.

5. You paid more for the Experience Edition of the Plastic Beach album just because of

the artwork.

6. You know what cetaphobia is and who has it.

7. You googled cetaphobia just now.

8. You know how old the characters are. You counted.

9. You know who Eddie Grant is.

10. You want to bitch-slap Eddie Grant with a dead fish.

11. You try to draw Gorillaz.

12. You check Murdoc's twitter every day.

13. You've accused somebody or something of being a "false icon."

14. You watch all the Gorillaz videos regularly, except for El Manaña, which is just too painful for you to watch.

15. You got emotional when you found out Noodle was alive.

16. You knew Noodle was alive all along.

17. You knew Noodle was a girl all along.

18. You know 2D's real name.

19. You've had the following conversation several times:

You: Do you like Gorillaz?  
Acquaintance: Gorillas?  
You: No, the band.  
Acquaintance: Oh.

20. You've listened to the G-sides and D-sides and are anticipating a P-side.

21. You check the internet daily to see if the Noodle ident came out yet.

22. You know what an ident is.

23. This is your favorite number.

24. You own Nike shoes, and they've got the cool shoeshine.

25. You own a melodica.

26. You have a dartboard in your bathroom and play from the toilet.

27. You've watched all the zombie films 2D has recommended.

28. You noticed that the helicopters in the Feel Good Inc. and El Manana videos were different.

29. You wondered if 2D got possessed when you saw he had white eyes in phase 3.

30. You learned the bassline to Feel Good Inc.

31. You're a pro at Pong and Heli-drop.

32. You have a pet named Mike or Cortez.

33. You have a newfound respect for Snoop Dogg, Mos Def, and Bruce Willis.

34. You bought London Calling after you heard The Clash was going to be on the album.

35. You purchased a Casio keyboard and play Stylo on it.

36. When someone says "It's coming up-" you interrupt them with "It's DARE! UH!" and start to dance.

37. You did a presentation on the allegory of "Fire Coming Out of the Monkey's Head" in English class.

38. You flung yourself out of a tree, hoping your hair would turn blue.

39. You know how to kill an eel.

40. You think of 2D whenever you hear a Cockney accent.

41. You have a crush on Damon Albarn and/or Jamie Hewlett

42. You're confused if Noodle's eyes are black or green.

43. At Kong Studios, you went into Russel's room just to listen to "Mr. Softy's Balloon

Race."

44. You wear silly hats while reading magazines about jazz.

45. You've purchased the Demon Lamp.

46. You want 2 of the characters to start dating.

47. You own a Motorola cell phone.

48: Your answering machine message is "Mmmmm Motorolllllllllllllaaaaa…I can't talk right now…I'm…NAKED….hmrhmrhrhr mhrmh hr"

49: You're planning to change your answering machine message to the above quote right

now.

50. You pushed The Bastard.

51. You know that a mako is a giant fish.

52. You use the word "castrophany" in your everyday vocabulary, even though it's not a real word.

53. You spell anything plural with a Z.

54. "Faceache" is your favorite insult.

55. The visuals for Rhinestone Eyes gave you a seizure, and you liked it.

56. Your wardrobe curiously resembles that of one of the characters.

57. You own diamanté shoes and a petticoat.

58. You laughed when you found out who Leonard Nimoy is.

59. For Halloween, you were either a mummy, Clint Eastwood, Charlie Chapman, or a Nazi.

60. For Halloween, you were one of the characters.

61. You noticed that Damon Albarn looks like 2D.

62. Your musical instruments has stickers all over it such as "I Love Yoko"

63. You got the 2D figurine, and shook it to see if its head would wobble.

64 "Empire Ants" reminds you of Murdoc's suite.

65. The picture of Noodle smoking stressed you out.

66. Even if you're not British, you call a garbage dump a "landfill" and an elevator a "lift."

67. You performed taxidermy on your dead cat, complete with wheels and a top hat.

69. You skim through some parts of the interviews, because you've read so many before and know all the stories.

70. When you get in an elevator (or should I say lift) you say "It's coming up...it's coming up...it's coming up...it's coming up...it's coming up...it's coming up...IT'S DARE! UH!" and start to dance.

71. You travel to school or work via FedEx crate.

72. You bump into various objects because your bangs are covering your eyes.

73. You tried to eat a jellyfish.

74. You're confused if El Manaña means "the tomorrow" or "the morning"

75. You can't talk when you're naked.

75. There's a random bottle of Mountain Dew in your broom closet.

76. You laugh every time you hear the "VolKano" and "Ashy" joke, even though you've heard it more than twice.

77. You frantically look around for a banana whenever one of your friends feel woozy.

78. You hear the music from Murdoc's Motorola sting in your nightmares.

79. Your clothing style is very nautical all of a sudden.

80. You hand-crafted 2D's Stylo mask.

81. You hand-crafted Noodle's cat mask.

82. You wear Noodle's cat mask to school/work. When people ask you about it, you tell them you have a bruise.

83. You walk around in Cuban heels and a cape.

84. Gorillaz Unofficial is your CNN/BBC.

85. You express your approval for something by shouting "It's the shizney!"

86. When you found out Noodle "died", you had a mental breakdown and hid out in Ike Turner's basement.

87. You write in octopus ink.

88. Your fish died because you tried to feed it Spam.

89. You drink gratuitous amounts of green tea to make your complexion green, according to Murdoc's diet.

90. At the vegan food store, you request to see Wobbly the medicine man.

91. On YouTube, you can pause the El Manaña video at the exact moment when Noodle's parachute is visible.

92. You cheered and yelled uncontrollably while watching the Roundhouse show, even though you were watching from your computer.

93. There's an extra month in your calendar between April and May called "April-ish".

94. Your feelings get hurt when 2D tells you to "sod off".

95. Whenever you see a seagull dive-bombing for food in the ocean, you think it's depressed and trying to kill itself.

97. If you're in a band, you start texting whenever your part is over.

98. You click on every object at Kong Studios/Plastic beach just in case something special might happen.

99. This is the number of times you think about Gorillaz per day.

100. The whole time you've been reading this list, you've been mumbling "It's coming up...it's coming up...it's coming up..." and when you reached this number, you exlaimed "IT'S DARE! UH!" and started to dance.


End file.
